FMF: Home

I have not participated in Five Minute Friday lately. I'm not sure why, or if it has been the same reason each week.

Anyway, I thought I would join in this week as I am not quite ready for bed....

So, this week's word is Home. Let's go---

Home. The word brings an image to mind of a white manufactured house with brown trim, sitting on a hill, with a giant big-leaf maple in front of it and a forest of towering cedars and firs behind. It is the apple trees lining the drive way and the many "forts" hiding everywhere, waiting for a new generation to discover them. It is a happily tumbling creek and a broken down tree house that has seen better days. It is the faces of my parents, looking out the sliding down with obvious pleasure at our arrival.
It's the new things...like the little mail box waiting for my children each time. It's the garage holding boxes of my childhood treasures in it. It's the trips back into "Cedar Park" with my children.
That is the place that will always have first place as "home" to me.
Home also brings up longing for a home of my own, a house with land and memories for my children to make. It is fighting desperately to be content with the apartment we live in and not drown in the sea of wishes for the future.
Home is family and love and hugs and kisses from the kids who love me unconditionally still and who I love deeply, even when their creativity and curiosity turns into destructiveness. 
Home is where love is. And I have so much of it surrounding me.

Five Minute Fridays is a wonderful community of writers. Look here to find the others.

FMF: Bare

Todays Five Minute Friday word prompt is Bare.

To be bare in any sense is to be vulnerable. When a wife bares herself for her husband that first night, she is being incredibly vulnerable.When a person bares their heart to another, it can be the same.
One has to trust another to feel confident in being vulnerable. One doesn't just bare one's heart to anyone, just like one does not get naked in front of a crowd of people. You have to believe that you will be taken seriously, gently and confidentially.
There is a lot of things about me I will share, but only to a point. At that point, I really have to know you. That's my baring point. We all have one. For some of us, that point is deep, for others it is quite shallow. Some have been hurt in the past and are extra cautious about trusting their deepest selves, others have nothing but trust for most people.
We all need someone we can trust. Someone we can bear our hearts to. That can be a parent, a good friend, a spouse, God. But we all need someone. Because in whispering our deepest desires, fears, even sins to another can be freeing and fulfilling. Yesterday, it was said to me that no one person can do that for us, but it has to be a combination of people......and ultimately it has to be God. Because only God can journey far enough into our hearts to truly reveal ourselves. I believe that.


These past couple of word prompts have really challenged me.....I guess that's a good thing.
Read more of "Bare" at the Five Minute Friday community hang out.

FMF: Afraid

Little late for Five Minute Fridays, it being Saturday night and all, but better late than never.

I've known about today's.....err, yesterday's word since...well, yesterday. But can I be honest? 
It's a word that makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. Why?
Because I am afraid of so many things, and I don't like talking about it.
even now, I just stare off into space wondering why I don't just hit the "close" button and move along, forget this word even exists.
because I hate afraid. I hate being afraid.
and I don't think I can do "afraid" justice in just five minutes, because I need more time to process "afraid".
What am I afraid of? So many things. So many things that CAN happen.
And then, I start feeling guilty. Because I am a child of God and I shouldn't be afraid.
But I am.
Does that mean I do not trust God enough? 
Does that mean I think the things I fear are bigger than God?

And, that's five minutes. Five minutes of me trying to explain my own struggle with fear. And, in being true to the Five Minutes, I leave it with questions I honestly do not have the answers for. Maybe someday I will.

Can I give you another five minutes? Would that be okay? Five minutes about a different aspect of Afraid?

My daughter, who's two, comes running to me out of the blue and whispers, "I'm sceerred", while burying her head in my shoulder. Come to find out, one of the boys has been growling at her, pretending to be a wolf or a bear or something. I tell them to knock it off and be nice to her, even while my heart is simultaneously breaking and singing.
Breaking because she is scared.
Singing because it is such a SAFE thing she is afraid of.
Childhood fears are often that way: very, very real but yet safe. Her brothers would never, actually, intentionally hurt her or even scare her. They are just playing.
I want to keep her fears just that: safe. But I know she has to grow up, learn about the world, and see that not everything out there is safe. That sometimes, the things we're scared of are well worth the fear.
But, not yet. For now, for just a little longer, I get to hold her and tell her she'll be okay and tell her brothers to knock it off and they will. And she'll go back to playing with them and all will be well....
I wish it could last forever.

Five Minute Fridays can be found here.

FMF: Again

It's friday and that means it's time for Five Minute Fridays!

Here's my five minutes on "Again".

A mother's life is full of agains. Doing the laundry. Again. Loading the dishwasher. Again. Changing a diaper. Again. Having to give the 7-year-old a talking to. About the same exact thing. For the hundreth time today.
Again. Again. Again.
Sometimes, I feel like all the "agains" will drive me crazy.
But, then there are the agains that make up for all the crazy ones.
My daughter gives me a kiss when I ask her to. Again. And again.
My boys surprise me with their creativity and imaginations. Again.
My husband compliments the meal I made. Again.
God gives me grace and love. Again and again and again.
Looking at the word, pulling it apart and what do I see? A GAIN.
And, whether it's something that is threatening to drive me crazy or it's something that fills my heart to overflowing, it's a GAIN.
A Gain in clean clothes to wear.
A Gain in clean dishes to eat off of.
A Gain in LOVE so completely given that it takes my breath away
A Gain. God, let me always see the word "again" as "a-gain".


See what others have to say about AGAIN at the Five Minute Fridays Community.

FMF: cherished

this week's Five Minute Friday word is Cherished.


Cherished. That is one of those words that pulls at my mommy-heart. I want my kids to feel cherished. Special. Looking back, I know I felt cherished. I know I was cherished. And I want my kids to feel the same way. 
Sometimes and more often than not, I know I do not show my kids that I cherish them. I give into impatience and selfishness and they are the ones who pay for it. But, I see it in their eyes, when I apologize and give them a hug...forgiveness, and that it's still there...that little sparkle that shows they still feel cherished and they still know I love them. Kids are so easy to forgive, so easy to look beyond a frazzled mommy to see her heart. I think that is why Jesus said that you had to be child-like to be in the kingdom of heaven. Because children are amazing forgivers. And they accept the people they love, even when they are not being loveable. Kids rock. And, even when I don't deserve it, they cherish me. Children are such an amazing reflection of our loving heavenly Father.

To catch up with the rest of the Five Minute Friday group, go here.

FMF: Dive

Whew, today is a big day for me. It was my day for the In Your Words blog hop, which has been SO MUCH FUN....not only working on my project, and getting all the fun comments and being featured on Madame Samm's post, but also seeing everyone else's projects and the creativity and personality in each project has been great. I've gotten some fun inspiration for future projects too!

And, it's also time for Five Minute Fridays! Like I said, it's a big day!

Five Minute Fridays is such a fun group of writers around the internet and world, who come together each week to write their thoughts about a word. In five minutes. This week's word is Dive...

Dive.
If you think about it, to dive usually means to have an incredible amount of courage. Jumping head-first anywhere is not for the faint of heart.
I've never been able to dive......like, the water kind. For that matter, I can't do a cartwheel either. I think the two are possibly related.
But, there are plenty of ways in which I dive. I dove into MOPS leadership this year and it has been a huge blessing. I dove into this Blog Hop thing and it has been so much fun. I have dove into friendships and other things that can be scary and each time, I find myself surfacing with a huge feeling of thankfulness and elation.
Thankfulness for the courage to make the dive in the first place. Elation at what I have gained.
It doesn't take much to throw oneself off the cliff of comfort, but that doesn't mean it's easy. There are things even now that have been on my heart and mind, things I feel I should do, but I haven't made the move, I haven't dived. I should. 
Is there something in your life you need to dive into too? Shall we do this thing together? It is always easier to do it with someone beside you!

Read more of today's Five Minute Fridays here.

FMF: Opportunity

Five Minute Fridays took a break over Christmas, and I think my break from it was longer....but it's back and I'm going to try to keep up with it, because it's such a wonderful way to look inside and look outside and write about how I feel, what I see and what God is speaking to me.

I look back on my previous FMF posts, and I see God's words to me, Him whispering and life and love and taking chances and seeing Him work. I don't want to give that up.

Today's word is Opportunity. Lets go:

Opportunity.

I feel like that is a good word for this coming year. In my journal the other day, I equated the future to a "delta golden with promise". It wasn't until the next day that I really thought about what I had written. A delta is a river with many outlets and pathways. Someone traveling down the main river would have to make a choice and not just one, but many.
Isn't life just like that? A delta full of choices and each one leads in a different direction. Some intersect, or run parallel with each other and so join together. Others are a crossroads, and once a choice is made, it leaves the other behind forever.
There is so much opportunity for choices and change in the next year. So many decisions to be made and life keeps flowing. Sometimes that flow makes the decisions for us, for better or for worse. But through it all, God is there as our strength and our song and our salvation. Through the rapids or through the calm waters, He is with us. That promise makes life beautiful. And gives hope that the best is yet to come.


Five Minute Friday is a group of bloggers writing their thoughts about a single word, different each week. Look here to see the list and read what others have to say this week about Opportunity.

FMF: Roots

I seem to be on a write-every-other-week kick lately.......I don't know, it's just been hard to motivate myself to write lately.....I blame it on the weather & my clumsy and slow desk top computer (which is what I have been using alot lately because it has a printer).

Anyway, here I am. This week's word is "Roots". I had two thoughts almost immediately. One was roots as in the things and people in your past that work together to make you who you are. And the other, strangely enough, was the roots that show when you've had your hair dyed. Funny, I know.

So, anyway.....here we go:

I have my "main roots", the childhood home where I grew up, friends and family that helped shape my life. They are a deep, beloved and important part of me. Precious.
And then, there are the other roots.....the threads which hold me to the people and places I've spent pieces of my life. Places and experiences...People who have come in and out of my life and left indelible impressions on my heart 
Some roots are long and wide, others short and slender. But each one is part of me. I wouldn't be ME without them.
Some roots have their touch of painfulness, others their eternal sweetness. But none can be discarded or cut off, not can be truly forgotten or completely ignored. Each root has taught me some sort of life lesson and painful or sweet, I am grateful for each one.

Five Minute Friday is a group of writers who get "together" each friday to spend five minutes writing about the same topic. Go see more here.

FMF: Look

This week's Five Minute Fridays word is Look.

For me and anyone else who needs the reminders.......
Look up.
Look down.
Look left.
Look right.
Look all around.
Keep your eyes open and really look.
Experience life to the fullest and don't shut your eyes.
Because you will miss so much if you do.
Children grow up.
Husbands, friends, family do too.
And so do you.
So, don't close your eyes, don't look away.
Look up to God, and follow His lead.
Look around to see what needs you are the answer for.
Look at the faces of the people who love you.
Really look.
Look to the past just enough to learn from it.
Look to the future just enough to dream.
Look at the present and be grateful.
Look to God and trust Him.
Look up.
Look down.
Look left.
Look right.
Look all around.

Thought I'd do my Five Minute Friday a little differently this week. If you want to have a peek at what my fellow FMF'ers wrote about Look, you'll find the links here.

FMF: Welcome

I am a little late.....but I have been before, and I'd rather write the post late than not at all.
Oh, and I will probably give myself an extra minute this week as I am writing this on my desk top computer, and the keyboard I have for it is sticky and weird......so a little grace is needed.....
So, with 6 minutes on the clock, let's talk about the word Welcome.

The word Welcome brings to mind a cozy house filled with wonderful smells, comfy furniture, yummy treats and good friends.
While my current dwelling makes it difficult to achieve the welcoming home I envision, I still try to make it comfortable for my guests....even if it means hiding all the messiness behind the closed door of my bed room.
Someday I hope to have the organizing and cleaning thing down well enough that I don't have to hide any messes behind any closed doors, but I'm not quite there yet.
I get a lot of inspiration, encouragement and just the tiniest bit of intimidation from groups like Home Matters, and organizing blogs, Pinterest, and home decor catalogs.
I get discouraged with how tiny my home is, how I can't decorate like I would like to because of apartment rules and financial restraints, but I also get challenged (in a good way) with figuring out how to decorate and organize with what I have and can do. How to use what I have to make an inviting place for my friends and family to come to.
I often fail, mostly because I get so worked up with the outward appearance of hospitality and welcome and am too stressed to give the welcome that really matters....the one from my heart. I want a pretty, welcoming home but I need to remember that the welcome from me is the welcome that really warms others hearts.

Five Minute Friday is brought to us by Lisa Jo. Find her Five Minute Friday and others' too here.

FMF: Grasp

I always know I've slacked off in blog world when I have two Five Minute Friday posts right next to each other, as it shows I didn't do any other blogging all week.
Sorry. Hopefully I will have something for you soon. I keep forgetting to take my camera with me.

Anyway, here we are again and this weeks word is Grasp. Five minutes on the clock, let's go:

Have you ever watched your kid (or someone else's even), finally get it? It could be school related: addition, reading, or just something to do with growing up, or whatever and you've watched them struggle with it seemingly forever and then one day, it's like a light bulb goes off in their heads and they get it. The idea has been grasped, understood, internalized. They have matured through the trial and they really get it.
I think that's what it's like to grow as a follower of Jesus too. We struggle with a concept or a hardship and it seems like we will be stumbling along in the dark forever and then, all of a sudden: ta da. We get it. We are able to grasp that idea and understand it. 
I have had so many of those moments over the years. And they are amazing every time. When I finally am able to grasp and hold onto what God has been teaching me, it feels like the whole world has opened up for me. It's awesome. 

Five Minute Friday writers all group together over here. Go check them out!

FMF: Wide

Today's Five Minute Friday word is Wide. Let's go...


I saw the word earlier today and thoughts of Wide have swirled in my head. There are just so many avenues to write about. Which one to pick?
I'm still no nearer to an actual decision.....so let's see what happens if I just start typing. 
Have you ever seen a river in flood? How it swamps it's banks and the land around it is saturated? That's kind of like how I want to live life----so full of God's love that it swamps it's banks and floods my entire life, and consequently the lives around me.
Sadly, so often, I stay confined within the banks of.......of what? Fear is all an answer there can be. I am afraid. Afraid of being swept away by the flood. Afraid it will lead me where only more fear lies.
And yet, isn't God's love the exact opposite of fear?  Isn't the road traveled with God the only sure route? Could I ever live life and live it abundantly and over flowing without Him?
Sure----some of the fears are legitimate. Real. But I think I can trust my God enough to believe that in the end, it's all going to make sense.
So, what is there to lose? Just the banks of my life. Just fear. Just everything holding me back.


So, that's it for Wide. Seems a little abstract, but there you go.
Come with me and let's go see what the others have written for Wide on Five Minute Fridays.

FMF: Focus

here we go for Five Minute Friday. Today's word is Focus.

Focus. Sometimes you have it, sometimes you don't. My craft area and kitchen counters are proof positive that I often don't. The fact that I already tried to write this post yesterday is also proof that I often don't. Of course, it didn't help that the TV was on last night.
Tonight's a bit different. Kids and Hubs are in bed, and the TV is off. There's not much to distract me tonight. 
I get distracted so easily. And yet, really cool things happen when I am focused. Like the crafts I have done that turn out really cool. Or having a clean kitchen, it's so nice. 
I haven't yet figured out the secret formula that works for me to keep me focused. I've tried lots of time management ideas.....none really work, or not for long. Inevitably there's a new book to read and that's the end of all my good intentions. But, I keep trying and someday maybe I will light on something that works. Like a maid. Ha ha ha, I guess that only works for the kitchen.....I'm on my own with getting my crafts done. It's one of the main reasons (friendship time being the other), that I've started having craft days. They help me focus. On both crafts and house, actually, because who likes entertaining in a dirty house? I sure don't.


There you have it. If you'd like to see other's posts on "focus", visit Five Minute Fridays!

FMF: Graceful

This weeks Five Minute Friday word is Graceful. Lets see what comes in the next five minutes....


Graceful. I think of a beautiful woman, dancing to soft music. I think of children, looking like angels in their sleep. I think of God sending Jesus to broken humanity. I think of my mother, who seems to be the embodiment of grace. I think of my friend Pamela, who also reflects grace to me. And so many others in my life.
I think of how grace-less I often am, and how I wish for a heart that overflows with grace. Because it is the outpouring of grace that shines love and Christ into others' lives, and how often I have stumbled and not given grace when it was needed and how many relationships have suffered because of it, and how many people only see Jennifer when they look at me because my selfish grace-less-ness covers over the Jesus grace?
Thank God He is a God of grace, or I would have been damned long ago. But for His grace I can continue to learn and to grow, and to scratch through the surfaces of self and reflect more of Him.
Each moment I give grace, is another moment I allow the Holy Spirit to work in me. And, it opens new worlds and gives new meaning to life. Grace is a door to an abundant life, to get grace is a knock on the door, an invitation, but to give grace is to open it wide.
I want my door to be open. Wide.


That might have been more like 6 minutes....but there you go. Find more posts on Graceful at Five Minute Fridays!!!!

FMF: Change

This week's Five Minute Friday word is Change. Here we go:

"The world is changing. I can feel it in the air....."
Or something like that is the quote from Lord of The Rings, and just about sums up how I feel right now.
As soon as I got home from the lake, I could feel it. A change in the air. Maybe it was just my perception heightened by the fact that we usually go to the lake toward the end of summer, but it feels like autumn now. And strangely enough, I am ready for it. I didn't think I would be. Not after the lousy bit of summer we had here in the pacific northwest. But I am. Maybe it's the fact that we usually have beautiful "Indian Summers" around here. Maybe it's the fact that Autumn has always been my favorite time of year. Maybe it's just being ready for the change that a new season inevitably brings.
I like change in moderation, and in the right circumstances. Like when it's something I like, or I am in control of it. But change can also be very, very challenging and painful. At least the seasons are a change to look forward, each season having something special to do with it.
There is a lot of changing that happens with being a mom. Watching the kids grow and change. Going through different "seasons" of life with those kids, or with your husband. Going through changes in your own body. At lease the seasons of nature are more or less predictable.

There you have it for this week. Check out what other people have written about Change at Five Minute Fridays!!!

Five Minute Fridays: Join

So glad I double checked this week's FMF.....because it's not the word I was thinking it was. I thought it was "push". It IS "join".

I am late in getting this post written and all because I was at the lake all this last week...just got home this morning. It was wonderful......but more about it another time

So, this week's word is Join. Here we go:

Join. so often in my life I have stayed in the fringes because I've been too shy or too scared to join in the fun. I know I have missed out on "opportunities of a lifetime" because of it. The events I have joined in have proved that to me.
Last year, I made a decision to join MOPS. This year, I'm joining the leadership team for MOPS. And I am so grateful to God for giving me the courage to do it, because it has been such a blessing.
Going on DTS where I did, on board the Mercy Ship Anastasis was me joining into what I believed God was telling me and I earned so many blessings because of my obedience.
Obedience.......joining in. That is were the blessings lie. Letting go of fear and grabbing onto life. Life abundant. God's gift. God's gift to me. God's gift to anyone who would follow.

Five Minute Friday found here.

FMF: Stretch

Today's Five Minute Friday word is Stretch. Here we go......

Stretch. Isn't that what we do every day as a mother? From the moment we learn that we will have a child. It begins with our bodies, as we stretch to be able to encompass the wee one growing in us. It twists and wraps into each part of our lives.
We stretch our love, our finances, our peace of mind. We stretch when our child asks of us something we feel is beyond us. We stretch when we trust God to take care of that child when they are out of our reach, out of our site. We stretch as we encounter different people with different parenting ideas and choices, and we stretch when our spouses ideas are different too.
To allow God to work through the stretching is what makes us healthy, what shapes us into the women we need to be, the women He created us to be. His work in us makes us able to abide some of the stretching which would otherwise tear us in two.

Find more lovely thoughts and posts about Stretch!

FMF: Connect

This weeks word is Connect......rather fitting, as you will see

Connect to me means a lot of things but right now it is translating into the connection we make with other people. For instance, I joined MOPS this last year and had a wonderful time connecting to the women in the group, and most specifically the women at my table.
In this last week, I was approached with the request that I be a discussion group leader this year. I had already signed up to the a DGL helper, but they are short of leaders and wondered if I would be willing to be one. I asked for time to pray, talk to my husband and consider it as it is a rather large responsibility.
I am pretty much convinced that I should do it, that God is leading me there, and to tell you the truth, it's kind of exciting because it's a whole new level on connection. Connection with the moms that will be at my table, Connection with the group of women who are in leadership. Even a deeper connection with God as I lean on Him and His strength to be the discussion group leader I need to be.
The connection I had with the other moms at my table this year was something I really needed, something that encouraged me and helped me. I am so grateful for the friendships I made and for the opportunity that is before me.

Five Minute Friday is a community of bloggers writing their own thoughts about a single word each week. I am blessed to be a part of this connection!

FMF: Here

Five minute Friday

Here
it was so easy to live in fantasy......dreams of then and when. I was constantly living for the next thing, instead of enjoying what I was doing in the here and now.
Slowly, I realized that what I was doing was not healthy. And I started opening my eyes to what was around me. Waking every morning and thanking God for the day before me. Living in the moment. Not always thinking "When..." There is some comfort in living in Today. God has given me the strength for today. I don't need to worry about the future or regret the past. I can enjoy my children at the stage each of them is in today, instead of wanting them to be older or younger than they are. 

I am here. Today. This moment. As my blog title says, I am trying to "Live Life In Every Breath". Every breath means here. Now. All of me.

Yes, I plan for the future....some. But with the knowledge that until it is Today, it's not as important as the day that is here and now. I still dream, but my dreams are tempered with contentment.


Five Minute Friday! join us!

Beyond

It's Five Minute Friday time!!!! This weeks word is Beyond.

Beyond. My first thought is "beyond this life". The life to come is so unknown. Yes, when we believe in Jesus there are certain unchangable truths. Someday we WILL be with Him.  Someday we will not have to live by faith because someday God WILL be a presence we can feel, touch, experience. Revelation says that God will wipe every tear from our eye. Someday we WILL live in peace and wholeness and joy. And yet, while we live here and now, it remains Someday. Beyond the here and now. Beyond what we can see. And there are so many unknowns about the Beyond. And I think even with the truths and assurances we have, the unknowns can still be scary. I can trust that I will live in peace and wholeness and joy, but I still wonder what it will be like. What will it be like to experience a place where God IS the light? What will it be like to see Jesus face to face? What will it be like to have every innermost thought brought forth for all to see? It can be a little daunting and yet.....and yet it can be so thrilling too.