FMF: Afraid

Little late for Five Minute Fridays, it being Saturday night and all, but better late than never.

I've known about today's.....err, yesterday's word since...well, yesterday. But can I be honest? 
It's a word that makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. Why?
Because I am afraid of so many things, and I don't like talking about it.
even now, I just stare off into space wondering why I don't just hit the "close" button and move along, forget this word even exists.
because I hate afraid. I hate being afraid.
and I don't think I can do "afraid" justice in just five minutes, because I need more time to process "afraid".
What am I afraid of? So many things. So many things that CAN happen.
And then, I start feeling guilty. Because I am a child of God and I shouldn't be afraid.
But I am.
Does that mean I do not trust God enough? 
Does that mean I think the things I fear are bigger than God?

And, that's five minutes. Five minutes of me trying to explain my own struggle with fear. And, in being true to the Five Minutes, I leave it with questions I honestly do not have the answers for. Maybe someday I will.

Can I give you another five minutes? Would that be okay? Five minutes about a different aspect of Afraid?

My daughter, who's two, comes running to me out of the blue and whispers, "I'm sceerred", while burying her head in my shoulder. Come to find out, one of the boys has been growling at her, pretending to be a wolf or a bear or something. I tell them to knock it off and be nice to her, even while my heart is simultaneously breaking and singing.
Breaking because she is scared.
Singing because it is such a SAFE thing she is afraid of.
Childhood fears are often that way: very, very real but yet safe. Her brothers would never, actually, intentionally hurt her or even scare her. They are just playing.
I want to keep her fears just that: safe. But I know she has to grow up, learn about the world, and see that not everything out there is safe. That sometimes, the things we're scared of are well worth the fear.
But, not yet. For now, for just a little longer, I get to hold her and tell her she'll be okay and tell her brothers to knock it off and they will. And she'll go back to playing with them and all will be well....
I wish it could last forever.

Five Minute Fridays can be found here.