Thursday, February 04, 2010

fighting fear

...worry reaches for me even as I muster up the courage to remind myself once again that at the beginning of the year, through prayer and faith, I dubbed this the year of "No Fear". It was definitely an act of faith---not only have I always been the worrying sort, but the past few months have done nothing to alleviate fear from my life....

....and this month has made all those past months of trial seem like a cake walk....

...and worry reaches for me, using many voices, many different angles to try and make me fearful....

...our financial position is precarious at best, and today I realized to my dismay, that the check Jon has coming from the coffee company will only be for four days of work....and does not even begin to cover what we still need to pay this months rent, let alone leave room for anything else....

...friends have lost babies, husbands, houses this month and my heart breaks for them, while the worry whispers: "maybe you will be next to lose something dear"...

...David has a boil or cyst or something of the sort on his leg, bringing with it worries of health trouble...

...there is so much to be fearful of---earthquakes, wars, "bad guys", sickness, accidents...

...each time the thoughts that scare me raise their heads, it is a struggle not to give into worry, but to reclaim that this is the year of "No Fear".

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind."

4 comments:

Cindy said...

You are strong and can persevere in this battle. It may be tempting to give in to the fatigue of the fight but know that you are fully equipped to win!
We love you.

Faith said...

"Come to me, all who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh you. " Matt. 11:28

My thoughts and prayers are with you, sweetie. Your mom is right though, you are strong and resilient. You will come out on the other side of this.

I love you so much. Sending you hugs, hugs, hugs.

country mouse said...

{{{hug}}}

Vonnie said...

Amen Jenny. Fear be gone from here and abundant joy fill it's place.