Forgiveness is Personal

I have discovered the truth of the phrase "forgiveness is personal". I used to think that forgiveness was a gift we gave others, sort of like saying: "I love you more than the pain of what you did."

But that is not all. Not even tip of the iceberg all.

Forgiveness is about freedom. When we refuse to forgive, when we allow bitterness to fester inside our hearts, we lose the capacity to love. Unforgiveness spreads through our entire being and we end up dull, lifeless and fearful. Forgiveness is as much a gift to our selves as a gift to others, because forgiveness is key to a life fully lived.

I know, because I have experienced the sucking mire of unforgiveness and bitterness, and I have watched days, months, years go by in which these things have robbed me of joy, peace and love. The chains of unforgiveness are subtle, but they affect and infect every aspect of life and every relationship.

My heart breaks to think of the opportunities I let go by. Opportunities to forgive and love and let God transform the sorrow of what had happened to me into priceless lessons of humility and patience. Instead of letting the past be just that: the past, I concentrated on meaningless and unanswerable questions like why that person did that or this person said this or why that relationship I thought so strong failed. Instead of trusting God to work His good in my life, I let unforgiveness reign and keep me from loving like I could.

Unforgiveness robs the present too, bringing with it fear of being hurt again. I don't know how many times I have withheld myself from a relationship because of being afraid of being hurt.

I want to love and live with a heart open to those around me, trusting God to bear me up and comfort me when sorrow comes, because it will come. I want to live in the freedom that comes from forgiving; and the joy that no one can take away from me because it is grounded in Lord, not in man.