Being Open

I thought I'd take a moment and practice what I wrote about in my previous post...being open.

When I saw my son's eyes this evening and watched them get worse over the hours, I wanted to lay down on the floor and throw a complete and total tantrum, as if I was two years old.

Why?

Because I just wanted to be done with eye infections and forcing eye drops into my children's eyes.
I was already frustrated at the doctors for not giving me enough of the damn drops in the first place (I ran out two days early with BOTH boys). And then having them tell me, "it should be okay, but if not bring him back in" as if my entire life can just pause in waiting to see.

Now, tomorrow morning, I have to call the doctor and bring my husband to work so I can take David to the doctor. I just hope they are not butts about seeing him because if they are, I may go over the edge....I am so close right now.

I also just spent so much time cleaning everything in my house, but the questioning doubt lingers. Did I get everything? Will his eyes just keep getting infected over and over? Will Liam get it again? Will Jon or I get it this time around? Pessimism screams that it will never end.

I am trying to trust the Lord in this. My friend said tonight, "maybe He's letting him get eye infections so he doesn't get something worse." I am trying to trust that the Lord does indeed know what He is doing. He's never failed yet, so why shouldn't I trust Him?

Oh, but it is so tempting to throw that tantrum...